Going back two you... you made these last two weekends more than confusing.  Thank you for your immature behavior.  Thank you for being supportive.  You remind me again (in a backwards way) why you are NOT for me.

You on the other hand.  Hands down, brushing our teeth and laughing was what I needed.  It makes me know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  Waking up next to you every morning. 

I move out.  I love it.  Best decision in a while.  Most empowering decision in a while. 

He's the one I think.  He's it.  I'm done.  What a great feeling, scary but amazing.

What if we stop having a ball?
What if the paint chips from the wall?
What if there's always cups in the sink?
What if I'm not what you think I am?

What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
What if I never let you win, chase you with a rolling pin?
Well what if I do?

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

- Ingrid Michaelson

Mostly I am confused.  I want a picket fence.  I want a full passport.  I want to write.  I don't want a desk.  I don't want "vacation time".  I don't want that, but at the same time I do.  When is it settling?  When is it ok?  When is it a choice and not a next step.  I choose to live.  It's a choice that I need to make each day.  To live to the fullest extent that I can. 

I miss Europe. 

I miss us.  In every sense of that sentence.

Never thought I'd grow up.  Never thought I'd like it.  Never thought a lot of things...

I'm in love.  With you.  You're it.  You're my person.  sigh.  What a relief.